Little girls are cute and small only to adults.

Little E. is now a true rolling machine. There is no stopping her. In fact, yesterday evening when we returned home from the regatta, and I was changing her on the love seat, she nearly rolled from it to the floor. I was only straightening out a new diaper to put on her, I barely lifted my eyes from her for a second when I saw a bare little E toosh hanging down towards the floor. My heart flew up into my throat.

I replaced her in her spot on the cushion infront of me where she contently babbled to herself, unaware that she just about killed me.

It's hard to believe that she is nearly six months. And mostly mobile.

She tries when shes on her back to pull herself up by her clothes so that she can sit up. Or she pulls on the belt or the tray in front of her bouncer or her swing for the same purpose. She spins herself in circles on the floor. And then rolls all over it too.

Today she found herself in a mirror and thought it was the best thing since sliced bread. She loves keyboards and pieces of different paper. Different textures.

We "won" her a stuffed elephant at the regatta yesterday and this evening when she went to bed, she pulled it up beside her and promptly fell asleep.

This little girl melts my heart.

Boy were they ever right when they say having children is like wearing your heart on your sleeve.

Where I want another baby

I've been quietly working on some pages for Little E.'s scrapbook. Something I've been meaning to do since before she was born. I've had the stuff since last October. Almost a year ago now. It was time that I started doing something.

It's almost sad ... looking back through my pictures of my pregnancy with Little E. Not regret sad, but, the sad that makes you long. I miss her 12am belly kicks. 4am hiccups. I miss the little bum bulge that always stuck on on my right side.

At the same time though, when I find myself in that mood, I try and shake myself out of it. Here I have a wonderful, happy, and BEAUTIFUL five month old and I'm longing for yesterday. What I need to do is stop and enjoy now. "They're only little once." And jesus, is that ever true.

Today like the past week or so, Little E. has been rolling all over the floor. Particularly in one direction. Anywhere she can get by back-belly-back-belly. She is also a whole lot more vocal. She's working on something with her mouth (no, still no teeth) that I cannot quite figure out. But when she gets it perfect, dude, is it ever going to be impressive. I can just tell. She works so hard at it.

This evening was also Little E.'s first time in a stroller since she was two weeks old. It was too muggy to put her in her sling and I desperately wanted to get her out before her bath. I dressed her, put her hat and shoes on and decided we would give the stroller a go. Worse coming to worse, Guy could push the stroller back while I carried E.

But she was really good and seemed to enjoy it. Even though she was a little unsure. She was also the center of attention for all passerbys.

How could she not be though? She's so horribly cute!

The great source of terror to infancy is solitude.

Little E. was such a wonderfully well behaved girl today, even though she was not feeling up to par, what with her new teeth thinking about coming in. Granted, they've been thinking about it since she was about two months old. It's damn well near time I say.

But yes, very well behaved. So happy and content. She was carried on my hip for an hour in her sling. Happy to be seeing all that she could see. Trying out her new sounds she's just learned, and using those new facial expressions too. Soon thereafter when I could see her scrub her face into my boob, I took her out of her sling for a quick giggle, and then replaced her in a cradle hold so that she might sleep. This is the only time that Little E. likes to be unable to see things, including me.

All she needs is my boob, movement from my walking and breathing, and the security of being close to mommy. My own mother tells me that I am spoiling my child. I think my own mother is full of baloney.

Little E. also this evening decided to try out her other new trick. Only, she modified it. Instead of rolling from back to front, she decided to give front to back a go. Settling on her back with a start, she took to quivering her bottom lip. Reassuring her, I placed her back in her starting position. Things were right as rain in the world of Little E. again.

Mermaids are chanting the wild lorelie

Excuse typos for the time being. I promise I have a good reason.

I'm sitting in our room now just after having finished bathing, massaging and feeding little E, listening to Toora Loora Loral (which is her last night time lullaby.) I had my hand on the top side of her bassinet, giving her her minute settle down rock, because like most babies she tends to startle when laid down, when next thing I know, I felt little fingers brushed up against my hand. I thought nothing of it and paid it no mind. It is bed time. If I look over then I'll be sucked in by my mooshy insides to pick her up and let her fall asleep on me.

So, if you will, imagine me mustering up all my "I must be a firm mommy at bed time" energy. Chest puffed out, eyes straight ahead.

And then that's when it happened ...



Those little fingers that had moments ago brushed against mine, we now firmly holding mine.

I think I turned into a puddle instantly. It probably seems so silly to someone else, but I bet that's because I'm really trying to describe an indescribable moment. How could you know what I mean, unless you've experienced it yourself? Like all things I suppose.

My eyes watered and my heart swelled. I was overwhelmed. It was like an injection I never got, but had the effects of taking over. This is what they talk about. This is that really pure love that they say you can only get from animals and children.

This really really, great big wonderful thing, and I've got it. Right next to me. Sleeping soundly with her lovey baby Toots.



I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Stories by the window

I think little E. has hit a growth spurt. Makes sense, she's almost six months. It just seems she can never settle properly and is so frustrated and tired. It's horrible knowing that she's tired, but just can't seem to give in. Or when she does, she'll wake up shortly after being laid down.

She is usually a fantastic sleeper. Maybe it's the growth spurt? Or the teeth she has coming in? Or the warm muggy weather? Quite possibly, it's all of the above. I just feel so bad for her.

All the same, little E. had a good day. She'll push up on her arms and try getting to her knees. Digging in her toes for all she's worth. Instead of going up, she eventually rotates herself. No real rolling yet but I'm not at all worried. It's something she'll get to if she wants to. It's not like she needs to roll around for the rest of her life.

Oh and she's certainly found her voice now. We have daily conversations. Well, it's more like daily squealing and yelling conversations. The more I squawk and "yell" the more she does. I'm the only she will currently do this for. It's hard not to say that I don't enjoy that.

Here's to hoping her tomorrow finds her feeling well rested and more herself than today.

I'll always be right here

At the time of posting this, my daughter has been asleep since eight pm. It is now 12am. That means she has been sleeping for four hours. She will most likely sleep until 8am tomorrow morning. I have been incredibly spoiled by this child and her amazing sleeping habits.

Soon she'll be six months old. It's hard to believe that time has gone by so fast. I know that everyone says that one cliche thing about time going fast when kids are involved, but I don't think I believed it as much as I do now that I have my own.

She was so small when she was born. Just a little five pounds at 35weeks. But now at almost six months she's a whole healthy 15lbs even. She got the most delightfully chubby legs. That's not even mentioning the cheeks of awesomeness she's got.

Today we were learning how to yell more. We'll have conversations over a game of tug a war with a wash cloth. These are my favourite moments in entire days. My world for her chuckle.

But now that it's closer to tomorrow, I think I'll end my today sleeping (okay I mean looking fondly) over the side of her bassinet for a few minutes. Just quietly being amazed that ... dude, I created that.